Out of the Office

I've been called by U.S. President Donald Trump and President Macron of France to lead a mission that involves Russia, Syria, and several undisclosed countries in the Middle East.  I will not be able to communicate for at least 2 weeks or until my mission is complete. I must be honest, it is dangerous and I may not return. Unfortunately, sometimes violence only understands violence.

Mr Polly, thank you for all your help!



Earle the Cat

Next Mission

I will be leaving for Djibouti in late October.  There is a terrorist cell that must be silenced. The United States has called upon their Master of the Third Option, me. It is a dangerous mission, however, it would be more dangerous to ignore it.  All is safe!  Carry on!

Home on Leave

I flew home from Afghanistan last night after another successful mission.  We freed numerous prisoners that were set to be executed by ISIS terrorists.  Sadly, one of our brave "special ops" did not make it out alive.  Below is a picture of my right hand man... or cat, Captain Fluffy Paws.  May you rest in peace, my brother!

Oh..no...

I have been captured by a militant terrorist cell in Karachi at an undisclosed location. I am in a dark box and tortured every other evening. My captors tell me I will be moved often, via camel on a daily basis. My weapons have been taken from me... I fear that I must fight - hand to hand combat - if I am to escape.

(actual satellite photo)

Merry Christmas!

Unfortunately, my job keeping America safe will make me spend the Holiday Season overseas. I will be in a small Pakistani village disguised as a small, orange, stray cat. My mission... well it is "top secret" - "classified", so I can't divulge any details, however, it will involve silencing a terrorist cell (that is my job) by capturing a known Taliban leader. I will purr loudly at his door until he lets me in and then I will take him by force. I will hide my weapons in my fur and take him hostage, force him to give me information, then... sorry this is classified information.

New Mission

I will arrive in Masagua, a small Latin American country in Central America, tonight via first class on an American Airlines flight out of Tampa, then Dallas, then Masagua. United States intelligence believes there is a terrorist cell growing down there and it must be silenced. Therefore, they decided to send their #1 special agent-me.
I will be disguised as a small, orange cat... a stray, that gives no appearance of the violent nature that my mission will entail. I will go in hot, heavily armed, and I will infiltrate the terrorist cell and destroy it using all means necessary. I hope there will be little or no collateral damage, but American citizens must be safe...I don't do it for the money-I do it for you!
Afterward, I will resume practicing my cliff diving skills in Acapulco, Mexico before flying home.

Stay Safe,
Earle

The Purpose of Life...

I believe the purpose of life is to help out your fellow man. However, I'm a cat so it doesn't apply to me. Where are my nachos?