Oh..no...

I have been captured by a militant terrorist cell in Karachi at an undisclosed location. I am in a dark box and tortured every other evening. My captors tell me I will be moved often, via camel on a daily basis. My weapons have been taken from me... I fear that I must fight - hand to hand combat - if I am to escape.

Merry Christmas!

Unfortunately, my job keeping America safe will make me spend the Holiday Season overseas. I will be in a small Pakistani village disguised as a small, orange, stray cat. My mission... well it is "top secret" - "classified", so I can't divulge any details, however, it will involve silencing a terrorist cell (that is my job) by capturing a known Taliban leader. I will purr loudly at his door until he lets me in and then I will take him by force. I will hide my weapons in my fur and take him hostage, force him to give me information, then... sorry this is classified information.

New Mission

I will arrive in Masagua, a small Latin American country in Central America, tonight via first class on an American Airlines flight out of Tampa, then Dallas, then Masagua. United States intelligence believes there is a terrorist cell growing down there and it must be silenced. Therefore, they decided to send their #1 special agent-me.
I will be disguised as a small, orange cat... a stray, that gives no appearance of the violent nature that my mission will entail. I will go in hot, heavily armed, and I will infiltrate the terrorist cell and destroy it using all means necessary. I hope there will be little or no collateral damage, but American citizens must be safe...I don't do it for the money-I do it for you!
Afterward, I will resume my cliff diving skills in Acapulco, Mexico before flying home.

Stay Safe,
Earle

The Purpose of Life...

I believe the purpose of life is to help out your fellow man. However, I'm a cat so it doesn't apply to me. Where are my nachos?

What am I thankful for??

I'm thankful for Taco Bell, unlimited internet access from the owners/captors of my house. Being able to use the truck without having to ask (I don't ask because he'll tell me no). Unlimited sky miles from Delta to defend my cliff-diving championship title in Masagua and my job with the National Security Council for the United States (my job is actually top secret).

This is my first post

Get off my back!!